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“Being single entitles you to not ask someone’s opinion before you do something to mess up your own room, your credit report or even your life.”
- Sayali Patil

“I’m single because I was born that way.”
-Mae West

“When you’re single, your pockets will jingle.”
- Anonymous

I have a confession to make. I’ve been single for almost 11 months.  Not only have I been single for 11 months, my romantic rendevous are unabashed solo acts. Contrary to the popular notion of how a young, fabulous and sexually fluid college student should behave (thank you, Aileen Chaiken!), you probably won’t find me in the toilets at Connections demonstrating ample finger dexterity. I’m highly unlikely to let my hands do the talking just because a tattooed dream in lady loving heaven has force fed me daquiries all night. Being single is a choice I’ve made, and I’m kind of reluctant to loosen my clutches on my claim to the life of a swinging bachelorette. Why?

I’m picky. I don’t have a list per se, but I’ve made a note of whom I wouldn’t want to waste a minute of my time directing to a tampon dispenser. Whereas most members of the lonely hearts club compile a grocery list of sorts of their ideal lover, I compile a DO NOT WANT list (mentally, I don’t physically sit around with my feather quill stuffed up my nose hoping to pick my brain for compatible characteristics that my future wife/husband should have). What does your list look like? Do you compile one at all?

I’m judgmental. I believe that a person’s taste says a lot about their personality. If you can’t respect my heaving library or share a similar admiration for the joys of FASHUN, I can no longer remain objective. They say opposites attract, and perhaps they do. I believe that when two totally different personality types collide in this universe, novelty usually overpowers foresight and common sense. Generally, the honeymoon period is spent observing the other species with a wild fascination and awe. Shortly after, the urge to convert follows, as partners try to fit their square pegs in round holes. Eventually, they realise that they’ll never be able to agree on a playlist for their car, or their taste in furniture is too dissimilar and they throw their hands up in the air and wish for the past two years of their life back whilst purging stray Sugar Ray albums from their iTunes. Do opposites really attract?

I get bored easily. If a person’s personality resembles a rubix cube of puzzles to solve and tricks to remember, most people will probably tire, stretch their fingers and do their best banshee impersonation. If you have to work to solve a jigsaw puzzle of a person, you better be getting paid, working girl. Hard to get? Or hard to tolerate?

Perhaps I’m being a little too close-minded when it comes to entering the shark pool, but time is like the purest of gold. I don’t like wasting it, and especially not with people I deem unworthy of my attention. It’s the last tub of your favourite ice cream out the back at Coles. You want to savour it, swirl it around your mouth before making your tummy sing a happy tune. Why waste your time? In my honest opinion, being single blows coupledom out of the water with a tsunami of benefits.

  • You always get to choose where you go on a date. Imagine a night free of quarreling, 100% enjoyment and synchronicity. I like taking myself on solo dates to the art gallery. I get to choose where I take me, myself and I, and there is no one else’s interests to consider. Simply 100% pure indulgement. It also makes the date a whole lot cheaper! Added bonus: no one thinks you’re a scrooge for bringing a lunch from home.
  • You can fart in bed and no one will care.
  • There won’t be anyone to criticise your garlic breathe. Eat the dang pizza woman!
  • Appearances are negligible. Presentation of the (best) self is 99% of the time based upon performances. In an ideal world, people would be able to see past your acne, your regrowth and jolly love handles. Unfortunately, personality is seen to be an inherent part of a person’s outward projection. Who would YOU rather associate with? A perfectly groomed fashionista? Or an unkempt and slightly overweight person? It’s called the Halo Effect, which basically means that people who are perceived to be attractive have a definite advantage over common folk when it comes to getting through life successfully. Fortunately, when I spend time alone, I have no one else to judge me. I know that sometimes I’m winning at life, and I don’t need to look a million dollars to convince the girl in the mirror.
  • Having a shit-tastic day? That’s okay! So is your other half (i.e: you!). Take some time to chill out with your misery. Hold it’s hand, let it know it’s okay to feel like your soul’s been chucked in a blender on pulse.

Do yourself a favour. Say nay to serial monogomy. Be your own number one fan.

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An example of the most attractive and least likely living scenario.

Hello internet! Welcome to another post where I give advice. I’m no Dumbledore, but I’ve got some lively pursuits and shit experiences under my belt that may or may not deem me worthy of advising others. You want some wisdom? I aint got none of that, grasshopper – but I do have witty anecdotes up the wazoo! So here be the bestowing of some pearlers. Grab a chair disco monkeys, this one’s not for the TL;DR crowd.

This week, I’d like to discuss moving out. Specifically, moving out and into a discrimination free environment. There comes a point in one’s life where you need to learn how to boil water and do laundry by yourself. Most importantly, you need to be able to be yourself completely – no sneaking around, no pretending to call potential suitors of the opposite sex. Let me tell you, it’s no packet of Tim Tams trying to hide your stash of Out in Perth magazines. For some people the best thing to do is to remain closeted at home, and that’s ok. We all have our reasons. Should you want to find a supportive and unprejudiced home to call your happy place, you need to formulate a battle plan. You need a swinging bachelorette pad replete with rainbow flags raised high, ya dig?

Her piñata is RAINBOW.

1.  Firstly, let’s talk about finances. The general truth is that most people have limiting beliefs about money. Do you like money? Do you have money? Do you hate people who have money? Do you enjoy your money? Do you hate people who do, whilst you sit at home downloading movies and eating mi goreng because you’re a broke student and your computer is dying AND OMG HOW WILL YOU AFFORD OKTOBERFEST. Living out of home requires budgeting, and only you can open a can of whoop ass and declare no more to late night online shopping. Truthfully, you can afford to live out of home, but like a lot of things in life, you have to really want it.

When first considering moving out, you need to consider your budget. Rent differs from city to city, but as a general rule of thumb, I like to make sure it takes up only a third of my weekly income at most. Bond is usually four weeks rent, and is used as a security deposit in case, you know, you trash the place with a keg party or draw stick figures on the walls like a friend of mine did. Some places also like for you to pay a few week’s rent up front.

2. Scope out the rental situation in your city. Most young folk like to use the interwebs to find potential roomies, so probably avoid the library unless you want to replace your family with another nuclear family unit. For Australians, Gumtree.com.au, Domain.com.au, Realestate.com.au, and Flatmatefinders.com.au are your best bets.

3. Keep your gaydar peeled! Do the images of the apartment resemble Ikea catalogues? GAY! Do they live in Newtown? 90% chance they’re spirit animal is a unicorn. How about Erskineville? Northbridge? Maylands? Fremantle? Fitzroy? Collingwood? If they’re not waving their spirit fingers, they’ll more than likely be liberally minded and attend Pride Day with you. Are they female vegans? Do they express an interest in roller derby? Look for the clues.

4. When it comes to outing yourself, remember that you’re under no obligation to inform your housemates of who you are or aren’t dating. However, you’re moving out so you can be your sparkly, high-voltage self 100% of the time, right? Ease into the subject a little. Casually mention that you’re off to lunch with your girlfriend. Subtly place a FCK H8 sticker on your wall. Maybe mention that you met the most HILARIOUS dude in the queer department. Be prepared for questions, but don’t treat them as hostile. Your housemates might just need some clarification, and want to make sure they don’t say anything potentially hurtful.

5. What happens if you house mates turn out to homophobic jerks? What happens if you the place you initially thought was free of prejudice, turns out to be a teaming cesspool of racist jokes, but like, it’s actually okay because your room mate’s best friend is Asian and blah bloody blah? Perhaps you’ve moved in with a vampire and fear for your iron levels. Or your roomie neglected to tell you they have OCD. For whatever reason, you’re just not meshing with the person next door. But that’s okay.  All is not lost sunshine. You can always move out. Occasionally, moving out as soon as possible can’t be executed. You’ve got school, or you’ve got work, or you’re chasing dreams and bands across the country. If this is the case, treat your ‘home’ as a place to merely sleep and store your cereal. Many people live together without as much as a passing hello or goodbye. Be civil and fulfill any chores you’ve been assigned, then when the time comes, grab your stuff and skip merrily into the pro-equality sunset of non-shitty share houses! Onward march, soldier!

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[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6qGouqhgFWU]

Hi Camilla! I’m a 19 year old Professional Communication student hoping to specialise in Journalism and PR. I’m highly impressed with the number of internships you’ve managed to secure under your belt, so I guess I’m just wondering if you’d be able to give me any advice to follow in your footsteps? I have a blog (it’s currently not working at the moment so I won’t link it to you just yet) which I use frequently. I’m really interested in politics, current affairs, arts and culture, foreign languages in general, I really love writing. Thanks for your time!
Nancy.

Thanks so much for your question Nancy!

I figured I’d answer this question in a post, as it’s a question I get a lot, and I know a lot of people who visit Girls Are Made From Pepsi are journalism/media students. I’m mainly going to focus on publications though, as that’s where I’ve completed the majority of my internships. You might find this method also works for broadcast media too though.

When you’re studying to work in media, there are two things for certain. Firstly, you will be exposed to Media Watch. You will tune in every Monday night and feel incredibly smug whilst doing so. You will then return to your daily life, and eye people with mocking scorn as they browse through certain low-brow publications, blissfully unaware of the ways they are being manipulated by media scum. You are oh so wise, oh blessed journalism student.

2. You HAVE to do internships. Yes, plural. Notice how I say internships and not internship. That’s because ideally, you should do more than one.

Now, a lot of media courses will make it mandatory to complete at least one internship, which is great! My first journalism course at Macleay College in Sydney (which I highly recommend for those wanting hands on experience) required us to complete two. I think I did 4 (nerdburger!). But I had a rollicking time whilst doing so and now my resume is pimpin’. Ya dig?

Spending just one week photocopying paper work or creating scrap books of inspiration or accompanying a journalist on their particular beat just isn’t going to cut the mustard, girlfriend. Sure, it gets you in the workplace and it certainly adds a little somethin’ somethin’ to your resume, but if you want to acquire some actual skills and really set yourself apart from the rest of the pack, you need to do several internships.

Now don’t freak out. I realise you just want ONE! And one may be hard enough to get as it is. The idea of working for free might not sound too appealing, but you need to keep in mind that as a student you need to acquire skills, and the only way to do this is through hands on experience. Luckily for you, I have the art of intern proposing down pat and I’m going to share my secrets with you.

  1. Find a publication you want to work for. Make sure it’s a publication you actually respect. This will make writing to the publication a lot more easier because you’ll appear more genuine, and should you win the editor over with your flourishing praise, it’ll make interning a lot more fun because you’ll actually want to be there. I’ve made the mistake of interning for publications I didn’t really love all that much, and trust me, it shows when you disappear to the bathroom every five minutes.
  2. The best thing to do is to start off small. You’ve probably got your sights set on joining the Park Street pack, or trawling the hipster dwellings of New York with your new Nylon buddies, or fetching unpublished manuscripts for Ms. Anna Wintour herself.  If you’re in your first year and haven’t done any internships, you might not get placed at the nation’s top publications to begin with. That is, unless you know someone. And if you have contacts, by Joe, make sure you’re lending out free iPods left, right and centre!  But if you don’t know anyone in the industry, that’s ok! There are honestly a lot of other cool publications out there that are relatively small, but looooooove taking on interns. This is usually because as a small publication they might not have the same resources as larger publications, so it’s a win-win situation for all. They get an extra person helping out, and you get to have a kick-ass time being a serious journalist! Can you say Extra! Extra!?
  3. Make up a list of milestones. Just grab a pen and paper. Or make up an excel spread sheet, and create goals for yourself. Mine usually go something like this:
    • 1st October : Email editor of [your magazine here]
    • 5th October: Follow up email
    •  10th October: Follow up with phone call
    •  30th October: Try another publication

4. Go for gold. Just do it. Email them. Find who it is that handles intern programs, and drop them a line. Depending on how large the publication is, it could be a number of a people: the editor, the PA, the editorial coordinator, HR department. Checking the website usually brings some good leads as to whom you should be contacting.

5. When you’re crafting up your letter to intern success, be sweet. Be honest. And most of all, focus on how YOU can help THEM.  If you send someone an email saying what you want, they will probably forward your email around the office and everyone will make fun of you. Just kidding! However, it won’t pack as much as a punch if you tell them how much you love their magazine. So go on, don your digital eyelashes and get a-fluttering, girlfriend. Tell them your favourite issue so far, tell them what regular columns you love, tell them you wish they’d update their blog more and that you’re just DYING for the next issue. But also make sure you mean these things.

6. Be relentless. Do not give up so easily. Editors (or whomever handles work experience) get a shit load of emails, and sometimes they might see your email, intend to get back to you, but forget because fashion week is on or something. So what’s an undergrad to do? You email them again. Just a gentle reminder saying something along the lines of “Hi, Just wondering if you received my email regarding internships. I’m super keen to come in and help you guys out in any way I can. Looking forward to hearing back from you!” Sometimes, this might involve even (ugh!) calling them. I’ve done this in the past, and it’s landed me internships. Here’s what you do:

  • Find their number (who do you want to talk to? The editor? The deputy editor?). This will usually be on the website.
  • Write up a little script of what you intend to say should they (gulp) actually be in the office or, should they be in a meeting.
  • If they’re unable to talk, politely inform them you’ll call back. YOU call THEM. Sometimes, they might ask for you to leave a message. 9 times out of 10, they will not return your call.
  • If they can talk, mention your email, then restate what you’re written in said email. Calling shows persistence, guts and dedication. You’re setting yourself apart from the pack. You go Glen Coco!

And lastly, just a few pointers for when you actually score the gig:

  1. Should you be asked to perform menial tasks such as fetching lunch, photocopying, banking, decorating the bathroom (oh yes, I’ve been there), it’s best to grin and bare it. You will inevitably have to do jobs you don’t like, but you’ll be rewarded with more fun, fulfilling tasks as well. For example, I’ve had to pack 100s of gift bags for book launches, but I also got to attend said book launches. Think Hugo’s Lounge in Kings Cross, with dozens of talented, super important people, free cosmopolitans, a photo in the Sun Herald, and a goody bag to boot. Own horn = tooted!
  2. If possible, arrange to come in 1 or 2 days a week for a few months, rather than doing 1 week straight. You’ll be more exposed to the up-and-down publications process. Sometimes, some weeks are very quiet, and it’s not fun to land work experience on those weeks. You’ll also build up more of a relationships with those you’re working with.
  3. Remember to keep in contact with those you work for. They can prove to be invaluable references and mentors.

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