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….And thus concludes the end of my second week back at uni. Was I ready for this jelly? No, no I was not. Regardless, you’re more than likely to find me bouncing out of bed ready to LEARN IMPORTANT STUFF rather than clutching at my pillow, praying for JUST 5 MORE MINUTES PLZ. I love learning, and I’m so happy to be back at uni. It’s the ultimate indulgence to feed my mind, to bounce ideas off of other inspiring, positive and creative people.

Things might be a little more quiet now that I’m back at big school and writing essays and trying to remember how to use the APA referencing system (which I totally don’t remember existed, by the way). I wish I had more time to jump up and down on my computer keyboard excitedly and churn out more posts like the eager Gen Y smarty-pants I am, but my course requires a lot of attention and little time for…well, life. Having said that,I’m really determined to make time for the projects that matter to me these days. More writing! More photography! More reading! Like a grocery list chock block of awesome food for the soul! Time is trickier than Where’s Wally. You can’t find it, you have to make it, and you’re never too busy for the things you love. Never.


This week I definitely noticed a trend in articles on self-loathing and self-loving in the physical sense. Because Girls Are Made From Pepsi is all about lady love, coming to terms with and accepting our diverse physicality is a large part of appreciating and celebrating your foxy self. Females of all ages – whether young girls or middle aged women – have all gone through some sort of body image crisis. Some deal with their inner critics more effectively than others, whilst some of still unconsciously grab at imaginary love-handles when trying on new jeans. I personally don’t feel ready to write a body image post of my own, so below are some of the best I’ve read this week (or ever!).

How gay-friendly is Facebook? With the Google+ machine ploughing through the digital stratosphere aiming to catch as many band-wagon enthusiasts as possible (oh yeah, I saw it riding past and climbed on!), Lesbilicious takes a look at how the world’s most popular (and infamous!) social networking site helped (or hindered) queer visability. Can we expect the same from Google+? Do social networks force people out of the closet when they ask you disclose information? Or is it still possible to keep some of our life private? It did not escape me that Google+ does not ask for your sexual orientation…

By the way – it’s awfully lonely on Google+! If anyone wants an invite, holla at me! I’m willing to spread the love around!

Liz at Autostraddle does a fashioncap of the latest Pretty Little Liars, turns the majority of the cast/extras into homos, and consequently makes my week whilst doing so.

THIS IS NEW INFORMATION. Not all women like pink. If you are one of those women, I’m sorry for my blog’s colour scheme and it’s affect on your retinas. Not really, because I love pink! But don’t worry, I still like you. This study, published in the Harvard Business Review (and handily dissected for the sake of my poor attention span by Gawker), suggests that women don’t like pink because it reminds them of other women.

Despite the fact that a full 100% of lesbians are women, it appears that women do not actually love themselves? Because it’s not the color of pink that women hate, according to the study, so much as the fact that pink is “a gender cue” that triggers a “defensive response” among women. This sort of self-loathing behavior is really sad to see among a gender that has produced lots of really quality gymnasts.

The study was conducted in relation to breast cancer donations. Although it seems fairly obvious that sometimes, you know, women prefer blue, some parts of the study actually sounded like they might not be completed baseless.

We put breast cancer banner ads on a website we showed the subjects but never mentioned them. When the site was geared to women [with the colour pink], 33% of women recalled the ads. When it was gender-neutral, 65% remembered. It’s been three years, and we have duplicated the same basic finding 10 times. It keeps happening.

Check out this video for Vanessa Bruno’s SS 12 collection. It features a Lou Doillon and Jessica Joffe as beautifully dressed forest sprites of some sort. (I am still recovering from Stevie Dance’s departure. I feel the need to talk about this. Anyone?)

140 characters can say a lot about your gender. According to a sociolinguistic study, women use a lot more emoticons and exclamation points ( !! =] ). I think I may have been an unwitting subject for this study…

Girl With a Satchel (Erica Bartle, or GWAS as she is known) is talking about body image. It’s a regular topic on GWAS, but I always love her posts on body image because they’re not just empty, superficial rhetoric about how important it is for us to love ourselves. Erica’s past experiences inform her views on body image and the media, so it’s not like she comes across all gung-ho about fighting the evil advertising standards which allow women to look like pore-less faces of sparkling beauty. She just recognises that it really, really sucks to open up a magazine and not feel like you resemble the yummy young things that dominate the pages.

What can be done by publishers in light of the fact that the Voluntary Code of Conduct has not been widely accepted? Go easy on the Photoshop, embrace what’s real, and complement fashion and beauty with a greater proportion of content that gives credit to women and girls’ other attributes. Devote sections to cultivating their minds, creativity, social conscience, resilience and knowledge of the world, as well as playing on their capacity to empathise, laugh, have fun and contribute something positive.

Source: weheartit.com

Rachel Hills shares her personal experience of BDD (body dysmorphic disorder).

When you’re actually living through something, it feels like some dark, impossible shame you could never speak openly to anyone about. Then there’s the stage of recovery where the whole event seems far enough in the past that the stigma begins to evaporate and you can speak about it freely. And eventually, you get to the point where it seems so long ago that it no longer feels relevant, almost as if it happened to another person.

I think I feel a bit like Rachel in a way when she says she finds it hard to open up, and not because she’s ashamed or doesn’t want to relive past events she’d rather keep locked up in her 16-year-old diary, but because it’s had to relate to who we were in the past. How do you speak for someone who exists outside of your here and now? Just as it’s difficult to comprehend and interpret another person’s state of mind, so too is it problematic to try and justify the actions of your former self. I, like many other girls, feel so far removed from who we once were, and that’s why many things are left unsaid.

Conversely, Anna Sussman writes of the eating disorder cliche – ‘Me Too’ Syndrome. I would really love to hear everyone’s thoughts on this one! Do you think there’s an E.D cliche? Or are you more partial to an open book policy? Over sharing? Or over people not caring?

Your vagina is a beautiful flower and anyone who gets your naked as hit the jackpot. Nay to vulva antagonism!

gucci gucci louis louis fendi fendi prada

Look familiar?

Apple, Pear, or Eggplant? I never understood why people compare their bodies with the shapes of fruit. I get the need to associate the female form with a deliciously sweet snack, but I’ve never felt these so called guides to female body shapes ever achieve anything.

Not satisfied? You might have more luck with something like Trinny & Susannah’s body shape guide, which has 12 possible forms—but, if you’re like me, you’ll still be left untyped. This isn’t because of your crazy, freakish body type that is unfit to be clothed. It’s because your body is probably a combination of run-of-the-mill (I mean that with love!) without a particular feature that calls for attention, and certain features that you may want to highlight or conceal but that don’t land you in one of the classic types.

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Elsewhere in the blogosphere…

I love a good visualised pun! Photo via AllTop

Purple Power delivers an almighty blow to inequality as NY State legalises gay marriage!  Yesterday was a day to mark history (and herstory!). However, the state law is buried under a messy heap of federal legislation, which might mean that all the young and hot things in love out there might not be getting a break on their taxes.

I Am Not My Uterus – This is the blog post that had the Twitter kids slinging mud pies at each other all week. Clem Bastow’s article in defense of deliberately barren women polarised the blogosphere into two groups – those already on a vitally important errand to Babyco, and those who’d rather toss the baby out with the bath water (kidding! Kind of). Women who’ve remained childless rallied in defense of Clem (myself included), whilst mothers and fathers alike saw it as an attack on their choices, an immoral decision, or clearly in breach of what mother nature intended.

Miss Bastow, you would be best to simply stay silent rather than use your words to spread your own negativity, weirdness and confusion. Too many young women (and men) have been encouraged to supress their natural inclinations by the likes of you to their regret latter.

The reality of nature can not be altered by newspapers articles: reliable female fertillity is only between the ages of about 18-35 and once the opportunity is gone, it is gone forever. Young men and women waste enough time building a carear without you demoralising them.

Coming from a family of women who have all decided to marry and have children late (or sometimes, not at all), any plans for me personally getting up the duff are yet to be conceived. However, but the government focuses on working families, and even Barbie gets pregnant, I can’t help but feel that it’s expected of me. However, doesn’t everyone feel as though something is expected of them? Women with children feel pressured to raise perfect children and somehow climb the corporate ladder simultaneously, whilst women without children feel like they’re being vilified for putting themselves first. Whether you’re a mother or not, women are defined by their (lack of) children.
Unravelling Blake Lively – Is it a bubbly facade? What is this amazonian beauty like when the camera isn’t rolling? Just who is this blonde icon with enough charm to get the Queen of England naked? Can she stand on her own two feet or does she need to lean on the likes of Leo and teeter on her Loubotins to get ahead? Blake Lively represents a sort of obsession with celebrity. She’s seemingly perfect – a bangin’ body fit for a swimsuit campaign, she’s tight with the emperor and empress of fashion themselves, Karl Lagerfield and Anna Wintour, and also has claim to the lead role in the hottest teen drama since we were welcomed to the OC, bitch. And she has really, really pretty hair. But is she as credible as she seems? Can she act? Can she do the splits? How much wood would a Blake Lively chuck if a Blake lively could chuck wood?

Blake has effectively created a brand for herself. She’s a hustler, climbing up that A-List ladder towards shooting-stardom. She’s working it because she realises that it’s a long way to the top if you want to rock and roll, and you can’t get by without a little help from your Hollywood friends. And if her tabloid covers are anything to go by, it appears to be working. You know you love her.

Ms. Magazine interviews everyone’s favourite huggable green gargantuan, Feminist Hulk. Hulk talks about endless waves of loving smash, his effective abuse of the caps-lock, and the never ending fight to destroy bull-shit.
The sexually abusive tradie as a stereotype – Bitch magazine discusses the prescriptive stereotype of the objectifying construction worker. Is it a self-fulfilling prophecy? Is it a case of having the name so adopting the game?

It’s probably for this reason that working class men are complained about so frequently at talks on street harassment, depicted alongside news articles and blog posts about the issue, and featured in anti-street harassment videos – all of which reify the idea that working class men are harassers. This classist framework really bothers me. Maybe it’s because I grew up working class and my step-father is a truck driver — a profession that’s often perceived as being full of men who demonstrate lewd behavior (a stereotype that contributes to the erasure of the growing number (5%) of women in the industry, but I digress) — that I am resistant to such overarching characterizations. My familiarity with men in these fields makes me sympathetic to arguments of perception vs. intention. Social behaviors differ across class identification, and what may be deemed “crass” or “trashy” or “inappropriate” according to middle or upper class values might be entirely acceptable in my family’s neck of the woods. So, whose standards should get top billing?

Photo: AP/Tina Fineberg via Bitch Media

Another Bridesmaids review. I couldn’t not mention Kristin’s Wigg’s debut film. Most reviews are so quick to confirm that Bridesmaids is so cool! Because it’s like the Hangover! But for chicks! It has fart jokes AND Rose Bryne! Winning! This one’s for those who aren’t stuck in the body of a teenage boy and are a little apprehensive about seeing the female cinematic incarnation of a Judd Appatow film.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nrRd2QSsGc4]

Style Bloggers and the Form/Function debate (and no, I’m not being ironic) – Are they more than just a pretty face? Are style blogs narcissistic mediums for cashed up clothes horses? Are bloggers lives a precious commodity? Could they die in a freak gasoline accident?  Fashion blogs are another form of fashion escapism, except much more affordable, accessible and personable. They blur the line between consumer culture and personal gratification with their diary-like form. We want to know the chick in the knitted jumper (isn’t even Russh employing this personability into their magazine shoots now?), but we also love honest fashion advice. We imagine that the blogger is just like us, although it might not always be the case (many already have profiles within the fashion industry or connections of the monetary or human variety). “Fashion bloggers,” argues author Lauren Burvill, “are undeniably successful. But at what price to the industry?” I don’t think they’re costing the industry – they’re just a new guarde of stylists.

Photo: Gary Pepper Vintage

BFFs are like a good wine – they get better with age.

“Humans are hard-wired to attach in a non-romantic way. There are evolutionary advantages for women to bond: to take care of each other, to provide a community and share responsibilities that increase the likelihood of survival,” Saltz says. “But friendships also fend off loneliness and depression.” – Gail Saltz, clinical associate professor of psychiatry at New York-Presbyterian Hospital/Weill Cornell Medical Center.

S.E Smith from This ‘Aint Livin’ talks about sexism and the female journalist. It’s a must read for any investigative lass.

For women in journalism, the undercurrent of sexism is always there and they’re often told to ignore it. Just focus on the story. Or manipulate it to your advantage (because women, you know, they are always about the feminine wiles and exploiting situations whenever possible). Definitely don’t complain, because if you do, you might get taken off the story and reassigned to the gardening desk. If you’re bothered that stories about women end up in the ‘life and style’ section you would do well to keep it to yourself, because no one wants to hear about it. The sexism is just an occupational hazard, you see, it is part of the job.

Katie Holmes uses her almighty Kegel muscles to squeeze the scoop out of her interviewees in Thank You For Smoking.

Nubby Twiglet has compiled a list of the best eye candy of the glossy variety. LOOK AT THE PURRDDYY.

Girl With a Satchel gives Cleo a high five for 10-page happiness special, but brandishes her digital wooden spoon for contradicting their soft-feminism with cover girl Beyonce’s bandaged body suit.

My new favourite website Autostraddle does the most hilariously accurate recap of the latest gay-centric episode of Pretty Little Liars. PLL is cat-nip for sapphic sisters – this show is FUCKING LADEN with lesbian undertones.

Spencer, you're looking very Shane today.

And to finish off your week with a ball-bashing to wet weather blues, here’s some wise words from all time bodacious babe Marilyn Monroe over at Yes and Yes.

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I feel like the web has been awfully sleepy this week! I think this means people have real lives. Like, they’re actually doing stuff IRL.  Oh dear. I am alone in here? COOOEEEE?!

Here’s what’s got my gears going this week.

Misery loves company. So do bitches. Wouldn’t it be fan-freakin-tastic if we bonded more over stuff we were over the moon about? If we all just grabbed some glow-sticks and jumped up and down squeeling about what ever is making us feel too fucking good to contain? Nay to negativity!

Super sparkly motivational thinkers Pace and Kyeli talk about connectivity vs control. What exactly are they on about? Basically, they suggest we help co-workers, rather than manage, that we make suggestions rather than convince or manipulate people, and that we nurture children rather than raise them. I think this philosophy is 101 different kinds of amazing, and can be applied to all areas of life. Have a read – it’s quite short, and consider it a taster for the other amazing things they write about. High fives and low tens for this awesome super duo.

Jane Martinson talks about the ultimate form of self-love – Whilst I’m all for being good to your body and getting down with your bad self, I do think that we have a right to choose to talk about masturbation or to not talk about masturbation. Whilst I applaud the Guardian’s efforts for trying to get a dialogue going on the taboo of women openly enjoying sexual pleasure, I personally don’t like to talk about such intimate acts. Why? Because like I said, it’s intimate. Just as I wouldn’t want to walk in on a friend having sex or masturbating, I expect the same sort of respect for myself. It’s something between just myself and another person, or occasionally myself and my right hand.

Heaps of cool free shit over at Yes and Yes! Instant pick me us, play lists and more!

And once more, with feeling, from Courtney Love. Read this hilarious interview. If you have the time, that is. Not for the TL;DR crowd.

I have a really good story to tell. I’m  honest. I’ve seen a lot. A lot of people feel like they know me—they see me as a drunk and a show-off and a mess, but that’s really not the truth.

I had this intensely fucked up childhood: my mother abandoned me when I was a teenager. I lived through my husband’s suicide. There was a period when drugs completely took over my life. But I also went out with Edward Norton for four years and didn’t do any drugs or walk a single red carpet in all that time.

There’s no denying that I’ve done a lot of dumb things. I’ve been wasted and written emails and texts that were really hurtful to a lot of people. Sometimes I can be a bit self-obsessed. But contrary to public opinion, I’ve never had a drinking problem.

I hate that people still stereotype me as a junkie or a crackhead. The truth is, I did heroin for a while and weaned myself off it. I did crack for six months straight and then I stopped.

I don’t particularly like Courtney as a person. Whilst she is slightly crazy (ok, she’s insane), I admire how outspoken she is and her courage to slam all that wrong her.

Seema Dugall over at Mamma Mia talks about her experiences with depression, and how basically trying to reach out to other people is like describing childbirth to a man.

I confided in one other person – someone I considered a best friend – but she simply told me to “toughen up”, and reminded me that the hell I was in was of my own making.

She was partly right – my thoughts were the culprits of my torture, and I couldn’t blame anyone else for them. I couldn’t blame the boss who had been sexually harassing me, or God for taking away the woman who raised me, or the fashion industry for giving me no real friends, or my businesses for inflicting more pressure than I knew how to cope with. My feelings were my own reactions to those things, and I had to take responsibility for them.

But in other ways, she was wrong. I needed her to listen to me and to tell me that everything would be okay, even though my depression lasted a long time and, as she described it later, I began to sound like the boy who cried wolf. I needed her to tell me that she would know and care if I died, not that she would check my Facebook to find out. I needed her to understand that I couldn’t be as happy for her as I liked, because I had forgotten how to be happy and her good news made me feel my own unhappiness intensified. I needed her to call me and to pick up her phone, but she cut me off because I was in “such a foul mood”. I was, but her avoidance made me so much worse.

I  touched on this issue in a previous blog entry. I feel that a lot of people don’t realise that depression is a disease. Because the mind is not a physical body part, the symptoms of depression aren’t tangible. You can empathise with someone with a rash, or a runny, red nose, but you can’t visualise how a person is suffering on the inside. I probably can’t describe it as eloquently as Elizabeth Wurtzel, but imagine you’re taking a shower, and it’s really fucking hard to pull yourself out of there. Not because you enjoy it, and definitely not because a mental disease can be likened to the warm and delicious feeling of hot jets of water on your bare skin, but because actually making that first step requires so much more determination and effort than just standing right where you are. It’s not a switch you can flick off an on, and it’s certainly much more than being ‘sad’. It takes more than a conciliatory pat on the head and a simple ‘there, there’. I could go on.

Elly of Quiet Riot Girl writes about the fine line between being a metro male or bisexual. Girl+Girl=sexy, edgy. Boy+Boy=gay. Girl+makeup=social norm. Girl=object. Boy=objectifier. Double standards, no?

But I find that wherever I look there are discussions about ‘‘the objectification of women’s bodies” or “sexual violence against women and girls” or “pornography and women”. It has reached a point where I have to ask, without irony, “what about the men?”

“The rise of male behaviors, practices and tastes characterised as metrosexual are made possible in large part by the decline of stigma attached to male homosexuality. While this stigma made life difficult for homosexual men, it also had an instructive, not to say repressive, effect on all men.” In contrast metrosexuality means masculinity is no longer black and white, “no longer always heterosexual and never homosexual or always active never passive, always desiring never desired, always looking never looked at,” says Simpson.

Since movin’ over to tha WEST SIDE and away from the crazy hectic lifestyle of Sydney, I’ve become super addicted to amazing sparkly people. People who are dedicated to making their bodies sing. I discovered Gabrielle Bernstein via Christine Arylo, whom I discovered via Tranquility Du Jour. All women are bound to charm your panties off with their guidance to making life your bitch.

Speaking of radical rabble-rousers and full-time spirituality hustlers, Alexandra Franzen has created a fairly bombastic list for living life like it’s yo 21st birthday part-ay everyday of the week. Check it!

Mia Freeman on pretend shopping, spending spree guilt, and the semantics of ‘need’. Oddly enough, whilst most girls are only too eager to share their purchases with their friends and spend hours squeeing over new shoes, I usually down-play my disposable income (most females only do this with their partners). I feel like ever since 2008, people give you the stink eye if you spend more than $100 on a single purchase. Doesn’t a lot of this relate to the idea than females are frivolous spenders? It’s all about where you get the most gratitude. If I find that purchasing new pajamas improves my comfort and thus my happiness, then by Joe will my wallet get a sucker-punch. Whereas my father’s need for a new monitor/CPU/computer-what’sit seems unnessecary to me, but it makes him happy (and me too. The man has serious techno-aggravation and spends far too long swearing at machines).

Zine Making 101 for Riot Grrrlll dummies! I usually just use InDesign, but I get the feeling I’m committing feminist blasephemy. Or something.

And now I leave you with new music from The Grates! These guys always put me in a super yummy happy mood.

 

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P7C52UlwiNI]

p.s: just found this gem. Glorious kookiness!

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Rwbzwp_Z3k&feature=relmfu]

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