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Single and ready to mingle: why I’ll probably die with a falafel in my hand.

By: admin

21-11-2011

Source: weheartit.com

“Being single entitles you to not ask someone’s opinion before you do something to mess up your own room, your credit report or even your life.”
- Sayali Patil

“I’m single because I was born that way.”
-Mae West

“When you’re single, your pockets will jingle.”
- Anonymous

I have a confession to make. I’ve been single for almost 11 months. Not only have I been single for 11 months, my romantic rendevous are unabashed solo acts. Contrary to the popular notion of how a young, fabulous and sexually fluid college student should behave (thank you, Aileen Chaiken!), you probably won’t find me in the toilets at Connections demonstrating ample finger dexterity. I’m highly unlikely to let my hands do the talking just because a tattooed dream in lady loving heaven has force fed me daquiries all night. Being single is a choice I’ve made, and I’m kind of reluctant to loosen my clutches on my claim to the life of a swinging bachelorette. Why?

I’m picky. I don’t have a list per se, but I’ve made a note of whom I wouldn’t want to waste a minute of my time directing to a tampon dispenser. Whereas most members of the lonely hearts club compile a grocery list of sorts of their ideal lover, I compile a DO NOT WANT list (mentally, I don’t physically sit around with my feather quill stuffed up my nose hoping to pick my brain for compatible characteristics that my future wife/husband should have). What does your list look like? Do you compile one at all?

I’m judgmental. I believe that a person’s taste says a lot about their personality. If you can’t respect my heaving library or share a similar admiration for the joys of FASHUN, I can no longer remain objective. They say opposites attract, and perhaps they do. I believe that when two totally different personality types collide in this universe, novelty usually overpowers foresight and common sense. Generally, the honeymoon period is spent observing the other species with a wild fascination and awe. Shortly after, the urge to convert follows, as partners try to fit their square pegs in round holes. Eventually, they realise that they’ll never be able to agree on a playlist for their car, or their taste in furniture is too dissimilar and they throw their hands up in the air and wish for the past two years of their life back whilst purging stray Sugar Ray albums from their iTunes. Do opposites really attract?

I get bored easily. If a person’s personality resembles a rubix cube of puzzles to solve and tricks to remember, most people will probably tire, stretch their fingers and do their best banshee impersonation. If you have to work to solve a jigsaw puzzle of a person, you better be getting paid, working girl. Hard to get? Or hard to tolerate?

Perhaps I’m being a little too close-minded when it comes to entering the shark pool, but time is like the purest of gold. I don’t like wasting it, and especially not with people I deem unworthy of my attention. It’s the last tub of your favourite ice cream out the back at Coles. You want to savour it, swirl it around your mouth before making your tummy sing a happy tune. Why waste your time? In my honest opinion, being single blows coupledom out of the water with a tsunami of benefits.

You always get to choose where you go on a date. Imagine a night free of quarreling, 100% enjoyment and synchronicity. I like taking myself on solo dates to the art gallery. I get to choose where I take me, myself and I, and there is no one else’s interests to consider. Simply 100% pure indulgement. It also makes the date a whole lot cheaper! Added bonus: no one thinks you’re a scrooge for bringing a lunch from home.
You can fart in bed and no one will care.
There won’t be anyone to criticise your garlic breathe. Eat the dang pizza woman!
Appearances are negligible. Presentation of the (best) self is 99% of the time based upon performances. In an ideal world, people would be able to see past your acne, your regrowth and jolly love handles. Unfortunately, personality is seen to be an inherent part of a person’s outward projection. Who would YOU rather associate with? A perfectly groomed fashionista? Or an unkempt and slightly overweight person? It’s called the Halo Effect, which basically means that people who are perceived to be attractive have a definite advantage over common folk when it comes to getting through life successfully. Fortunately, when I spend time alone, I have no one else to judge me. I know that sometimes I’m winning at life, and I don’t need to look a million dollars to convince the girl in the mirror.
Having a shit-tastic day? That’s okay! So is your other half (i.e: you!). Take some time to chill out with your misery. Hold it’s hand, let it know it’s okay to feel like your soul’s been chucked in a blender on pulse.

Do yourself a favour. Say nay to serial monogomy. Be your own number one fan.

Sunday Hustle 21/08/11

By: admin

21-08-2011

sunday hustle

For your reading pleasure!

Hot people are mean and more than likely to steal your candy at get away with it, according to the observer. And they won’t say sorry either! No sir. They’ll probably bat their eyelashes and get you to hand over your phone. (Jezebel)

Source: fuckyeahmeangirls.tumblr.com

Where do women rate on the gender wage scale? As these handy infographics reveal, obtaining a higher education is gonna bring in the big bucks (or, bigger bucks). But for whom exactly? Not all students are created equal, it appears. (Ms. Magazine)

Move over Hollywood! Presenting to you…Kittywood! Oh the lulz! (Jezebel)

I’m guessing that if you read this blog, it’s no secret that I dig chicks. And not in entirely sexual way either! I just really love women. Which is why I’m torn over whether I love or hate this article over at Sex, Gender, Body. Alex starts off by arguing that women are hardwired to form relationships, our bodies the perfect factory for producing the love hormone oxytocin. She then goes on to say

That is why affairs affect lesbians very differently to heterosexuals and why there needs to be a different view point taken when understanding affairs between two women. This is not to say that straight people aren’t affected by affairs in their marriage, the impact of betrayal on any person regardless of sexual orientation can be devastating and painful.

Is she playing the devils advocate, down playing the validity of love between two women? Or is she saying that women are naturally inclined to form strong emotional ties thus we should just let them eat the damn cake? I’m not sure. What do you think? (Sex Gender Body)

Rachel Rabbit White writes about fashion and feminism. I see a lot of this relating to the issue of feminist guilt, which is basically feeling kind of shitty for enjoying things like make-up and high heels. (Rabbit Write)

It’s interesting though, that with the new rights women gained, fashion saw women trying on male-ness. Is it feminist, if women had to bend what they were wearing in order to fit into the “man’s world’? Whether it’s women bobbing their hair after they get the vote, or Chanel’s pantsuit, or the 1980?s power-suit with it’s pointed masculine edges, worn as women really took hold of the workplace it’s all women taking on male roles. (One of the things the third wave seems to have done is take back traditional feminine fashion, in it’s “ironic” retro silhouettes and crinoline.) And yet playing with gender in fashion can be liberating, and helpful to breaking down gender roles and the binary.

The National Library of Australia celebrates 50 years of Women’s Weekly with a retro exhibition! Too cool! (GWAS)

Stuff, glorious stuff. Erica Bartle writes in response to an article in Bloomberg Businessweek about materialism and consumer culture. Apparently, we live in a consumerist world. Well, I’d like to argue that we’re not materialistic enough. But bare with me before you start your witch hunt and hammer my door down – I have a point! It’s not the phone you want, it’s the iPhone. Perhaps it calls to you like sweet and seductive siren from the pretty and sleek packaging that Apple wraps their products up in and sends out of their shiny buildings. You don’t want those shoes. You want these shoes. Etc, etc, ad nauseum. Stuff, and the kind of stuff you buy, gives you more social/cultural capital. (Girl With A Satchel)

In the worst of cases, you wake one day to find that you are not a whole but, indeed, an assembly of lots of selves and cultural artefacts. Your attempts to emulate, to run with the pack, or even stay two steps ahead, have left you flat with nothing to give back. You feel like an iPhony. So the quest to find your true self begins… only beneath all the clutter, you’re not so sure you’re going to like what you find. Not to worry: more stuff will numb that straight away!

When the one you love breaks your heart by leaving you, you don’t fall into his arms when he says sorry, like Bella, you punch him, like Hermione. (Musings Of An Inappropriate Woman)

Oh, and Francis Bean Cobain grew up. These are from her photo shoot with Dior’s Hedi Slimane. Jaw=dropped. (Good Morning Midnight)

Sunday Hustle 24/07/11

By: admin

24-07-2011

sunday hustle

For your reading pleasure!

Autostraddle dishes out some sage wisdom for shy young lesbians. The key to a girl’s heart may or may not be with donuts, but sitting like a hot toaster waiting to pop does not a hustler make.

If you don’t feel your heart beating in your fingertips, if your voice isn’t shaking, if you’re able to have coherent thoughts, then you don’t understand the importance of what you’re doing. This is a big deal. When you approach someone as more than friends, you’re making yourself defenseless in a way that, quite frankly, isn’t fair. Whenever you ask someone out, you’re knowingly giving them the chance to stomp on your heart on the off chance that they want to make out with your face as much as you want to make out with theirs.

Jump on in love-lorn battalions!! The water’s fine!

Photo via weheartit.com

Fancy some heavier reading? Here’s some food for thought from Oxford University Press. Author Christopher Reed is promoting his new book Homosexuality in Art: A History of Ideas. He talks about why homosexuality is more accepted in mainstream cinema and literature and not in the visual arts, and also how sexuality really isn’t all that personal when it’s such a large part of our culture. (OUP Blog)

My new favourite website Autostraddle (how did this fly under my radar for so long?!) is also talking about homosexuality and art. This article’s in relation to activism, and not just the gung-ho rah-rah kind of political demonstration. (Autostraddle)

Studies have shown that “knowing” gay fictional characters is similar to knowing a gay person when it comes to affecting attitudes toward LGBT people and issues. Artists with a wide audience, such as the people behind popular TV shows, movies and books, have a unique opportunity to reach people who would not otherwise seek out LGBT media and perspectives. A lot of these people would never watch explicitly-gay shows like Queer As Folk or The L Word — but as we make more and more inroads to otherwise-straight shows, like Pretty Little Liars or Glee, it becomes harder and harder for homophobes to avoid queer people on TV. And harder and harder for them to avoid empathizing with us.

via Tumblr

The Hairpin features an article on Canada’s long-termlove affair with our patron saint of bad-ass Alanis Morisette. IT’S LIKE RAAAAAIIIIIIN ON YOUR WEDDING DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYY….. (The Hairpin)

Photo via theexpressionist.com

Don’t feel like reading the whole of American Cosmo? Lilith and Jezebel over at Evil Slutopia have summarised it for your convenience! (Evil Slutopia)

Rachel Rabbit White discusses the fashion question for feminists and queers. Do you ever wonder who you’re dressing for? Maybe for other girls in order to be accepted? Or maybe to attract male attention? Perhaps you feel the pangs of feminist guilt (thank YOU, Naomi Wolf!) when you do dress up? Or maybe you feel conflicted about what to wear when you’re attracting the same sex? We’ve all been there – whether you’re a feminist or a queer. Girl culture demands that we be our best selves physically, but like, not TOO pretty, because that’s just threatening. Feminism and queer culture asks that we subvert traditional gender stereotypes. Is your head exploding yet? How does one attain this level of unthreatening sexiness? And how does one look like they like girls, but not too much like a boy because obviously that’s counterproductive? Wear heels and you might encounter a ‘more feminist than thou’ attitude, or wear heels and people will assume you’re straight. Is their freedom in choosing what you want to wear? (Rabbit Write)

Time for sweet androgyny!

Maranda Elizabeth on the unclear boundaries of consent. Because, sometimes no means no, and sometimes, yes means no also. Confusing? Communication is so much more than affirmative answers. What about body language? Tone of voice? (Maranda Elizabeth)

In the workshop I wrote about in my last entry, when we broke into smaller groups and discussed our wants and needs, practicing how to ask for them, and how to say/accept no as an answer, one of the folks in our group said that they needed clear and direct communication, and for folks they’re involved with to make their boundaries known. It sounds simple, right? But myself and another person in the group both admitted that we have difficulty clarifying our boundaries for others, and that we were both dealing with our own issues surrounding assertiveness and communication, so we couldn’t promise that we could always be clear and direct.

The NY Times has a really great article on the problematic ‘strong female lead’. Whilst the title wreaks of anti-feminist sentiments (women cannot handle their own awesomeness! Shall we sew instead?) the article is definitely worth your Sunday reading. Just to clarify, in this context ‘strong female lead’ does not mean a well written and developed character. Thank you NY Times for this handy definition: “alpha professionals whose laserlike focus on career advancement has turned them into grim, celibate automatons; robotic, lone-wolf, ascetic action heroines whose monomaniacal devotion to their crime-fighting makes them lean and cranky and very impatient; murderous 20-something comic-book salesgirls who dream of one day sidekicking for a superhero; avenging brides; poker-faced assassins; and gloomy ninjas with commitment issues.” This kind of woman, the NY Times argues, develops an inferiority complex.

Of course, I get the point of characters like these. They do serve as a kind of gateway drug to slightly more realistic — or at least representational — representations of women. On the other hand, they also reinforce the unspoken idea that in order for a female character to be worth identifying with, she should really try to rein in the gross girly stuff. This implies that unless a female character is “strong,” she is not interesting or worth identifying with.

This reminds me of a conversation I had with Mia Freedman once (I HAVE ALWAYS WANTED TO SAY THAT) where she mentioned how important it was for women to share their bad lists. To be declare their strengths certainly, but also to own up to their weaknesses as a form of empowerment. Is strength always a virtue? (NY Times)

On a similar note, I am finally off to go see Harry Potter – finally! Team Hermione!

Happy Sunday!

Deal-Breaker: Dipping Your Pen In the Company Ink

By: admin

04-05-2011

features

Back when I was 18, I – um, I mean, my friend Sally – went out for drinks one night with a bunch of boys from college and ended up with a boyfriend. Just like that. After a whole semester of googley eyes across the classroom, hair flicking, and many a night of obligatory Facebook stalking, Sally and her beau became inseparable. I – I mean Sally – ditched her usual gaggle of girl friends to lunch with said boy. Boy’s lack of social skills meant his social life consisted of electric guitars, World of Warcraft and anonymous chat rooms devoted to photos of cats. Thus girl became boy’s whole entire social life. It was the start of a beautiful classroom romance. Drunk on hormones from the fountain of youth, it was that time in a young person’s life when anything is a good idea – including gluing yourself to someone you’d inevitably be forced to sit next to for the next couple of years.

The thing is, Sally – okay, okay, I mean I - just kind of got over the whole affair.Being stuck with the same person day after day lost its appeal. The whole college sweetheart fairytalebecame more akin to a prison sentence than the rosy bliss of youthfullust. Feelings grew out of sync: I was frosty the ice-bitch, whilst he wasbasking in the warmth of classroom romance. All this time spent together in such a close and cramped proximity began to take its toll. Playing footsies in thecomputer lab became awkward, playful nudges in the lunchroom went unreturned, fightsbegan over where served the best pasta, and arguments that erupted over who couldtype the fastest drew looks of disdain from irate professors. This one timehe refused to do any work for our group assignment, so I ripped uphis shorthand homework and caught the train home by myself. Wewere each other’s kryptonite, we were fiercely competitive, and when we weren’t touchy-feely when wewere screaming “I F***ING HATE YOU!” across campus.

It’s a scenario not uncommon to a lot women. Now that I’ve left college, perhaps a more serious issue to consider is dating in my current environment. What’s a girl to do when you fall head-over-heels with wild-eyed lust for someone in the workplace? What do you do when that hottie from IT gets you all hot and flustered with their technological babble? Or, like one of my good friends, what do you do when you’ve got it baaaaad for someone you live with? Now there’s an affair too close for comfort! You can’t exactly give a person the boot post a drunken bedroom rollick if they’re sharing the rent with you.

Falling for those in close proximity to you is natural. Given you’re occupying the same physical space (the workplace, the home, or the classroom), it’s a given that the circumstances under which you meet could mean you share a lot of the same interests and concerns. Maybe you both just really want to choke the receptionist with the telephone cord. So whilst the ‘getting to know you’ game may be a heck of a lot simpler if you’re running into each other at the water cooler, the lunch room, or in your towels on the way to the bathroom, you need to consider the final play. I call it the ‘pretending I don’t know you game’.

So what did I do with my college-sweetheart-come-leech-like lover? I had two options.

1. Ditch the dude and welcome back sanity. I could enjoy reprieve from the

woes of coupledom, and best of all, be free to eat pumpkin ravioli

when and where I wanted.

2. Alternatively, stay with boy, avoiding classroom drama and finding

new assignment group members. Let’s not forget – put up with second-rate pasta.

I chose the latter. I may not have been able to pick where served the best take away lunches, but doing assignment work with an emotional ex-boyfriend seemed like the greater of two evils. Was it hard? I almost impaled him with a camera tripod. Do I regret it? Not exactly, but I’ll definitely question taking advantage of company supplies next time around.

Single and ready to mingle: why I’ll probably die with a falafel in my hand.

Sunday Hustle 21/08/11

Deal-Breaker: Dipping Your Pen In the Company Ink

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Single and ready to mingle: why I’ll probably die with a falafel in my hand.

Sunday Hustle 21/08/11

Sunday Hustle 24/07/11

Deal-Breaker: Dipping Your Pen In the Company Ink

Menu

What

Daily Booth

Connect

Live Stream

Copyright Disclaimer

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Categories

Link Luvin (Oz)

Link Luvin (International)