Who remembers friendship bracelets? I was the friendship bracelet queen back in primary school, frequently plaiting away at multi-coloured yarns and lovingly securing them around the wrists of my girlfriends. We were ‘blood sisters’, child warrior body guards against armies of scary boys, and even formed our own juvenile version of a secret society. We marked each other’s bodies in a way that would probably worry most parents, and shared everything.  A good gal pal will take the edge off a rough day, whinge with you about your boss, help sabotage mortal enemies and doesn’t care what you look like when you wake up.  The relationships between girls is something of an enigma; we have an unmistakeably special bond that we search for in potential partners, yet we don’t label our friendships as a form of romantic love.

Building and maintaining supportive relationships is something that’s hardwired into the female brain. Studies show that women thrive emotionally and physically from these relationships. They help release stress, provide a shoulder to cry on, and provide inspiration for multi-million dollar franchises.

A few weeks ago, Rachel Rabbit White made a post about the BFF. She even used one of my little anecdotes about my relationship with a certain BFF who shall forever remain unnamed. Can you guess which one is my story?

The basic gist of the post is that everyone’s a little bi – whether it’s a phase you go through, a transitional period or stepping stone to full-blown lesbian, or the start of a sexually fluid identity. Or perhaps you choose to not abide by any label, seeing your attractions as far more personal as opposed to deeply sexual.

Frankie likes people.

This is hardly a new concept. Freud called it ‘polymorphous perversity’. Poly what now? To illustrate this point, University College, London did a study on the brain activities of various hetero and homosexual couples. Participants were shown images of their significant others, and photos of their same sex friends. When looking at the fMRI scans, guess what they found? That’s right – same neurological responses. Which means, romantic love, regardless of a person’s sex, and friendship love have very similar chemical reactions in the brain.

However, it appears that women displayed more of this brain activity than men. So is female sexuality much more fluid than mens’? You can bet your rainbow party pants it is, according to a study by Lisa Diamond. In her book Sexual Fluidity: Understanding Women’s Love and Desire, Diamond studied 100 women over a decade and found a trend amongst females to have a far more sexually diverse orientation.

Whether sexual or not, sometimes close female bonding is treated sexually. Sometimes it’s implicit, sometimes it almost smacks you in the face with a strap-on. Here are some subtle and not so subtle examples of the complex BFF relationship.

Emily and Spencer from Pretty Little Liars

Emily tries to seduce Spencer with her Cher impersonation.

The BFF relationship is central to the plot of Pretty Little Liars. One of the main characters, Emily, has a hidden infatuation for Alison (who is murdered in the first episode. The whole show revolves around her untimely death). In flash-backs we see Alison tease Emily with her coquettish double entendres, secretly making out with her, pushing her away and pulling her back in with teenage nonchalance, buying her gifts, basically playing favourites with extra tongue involved. Whilst I think Alison just knew she was smokin’ hot jail-bait and was probably just using Emily as an experiment, I get major vibes from Spencer. And the girls where PURPLE friendship bracelets. Need I say more?

Tracy and Evie from Thirteen

This early 2000s independent drama chronicled the kind of relationship many young teenage girls have – the friend who is a bad influence. Evie one of those enigmatic girls you meet who possess some sort of hypnotic power over all she comes into contact with. But Evie is bbbbad to the bone, introducing the faunish Tracy to the hard and fast world of juvenile deilinquincy. Think acid trips, older boys, shop lifting and bullying. Evie is in fact so bewitching, the completely moon-struck Tracy ends up locking lips with her and almost having a jail-bait three-way tryst with her neighbour. The thing is, Tracy doesn’t really care about the money she steals, the boys she kisses or the clothes she wears. She’s eagerly searches for signs of approval whilst mirroring Evie. Although the girls are only thirteen and I don’t want to be responsible for objectifying minors, there’s some fairly subtle and not so subtle sexual undertones that underscore their relationship, blurring the line between friendship love and romantic love. Not so black and white anymore, is it?

Regina George and the Plastics

Photo via Starpulse.com

Queen Bee Regina’s character is in the same vein as Evie from Thirteen. With enough charisma to charm the panties off any girl who so merely as breathes the same oxygen as her, Regina has an undeniable influence over all of her peers. Even Cady confesses that although she secretly loathes Regina, she still yearns for her acceptance. There’s something about this blonde paragon that causes the world to fawn at her feet.  She even manages to get her obedient cohorts to dress up as elves and perform a sassy Christmas repertoire. I mean, hello? Is this not sexual finesse? Regina can get a girl (and a boy) to do anything.

Brittany and Santana from Glee

Fan girls all over the Glee-verse spammed the shit out of Tumblr when their OTP Brittana became a canon pairing.  From back-up dancers, to pom-pom wielding besties, to cuddle buddies, and now to scissor sisters, they illustrate perfectly the BFF paradigm, wherein friendship love and romantic love intertwine. Brittany and Santana definitely built up one giant gay crescendo with their pink-linking performances. It’s obvious that the girls love each other despite their respective snarkyness and endless blonde moments, but they’re hesitant to put a label on their relationship. They see other boys, they sleep with other boys, but as sure as these teens will break out into a randomly choreographed song and dance routine about homework, so too do Brittana ultimately end up together.

So, what do you think? Does the media sexualise the BFF relationship, or just merely mirror back these already existing undertones? Is it a case of the chicken or the egg?

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