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….And thus concludes the end of my second week back at uni. Was I ready for this jelly? No, no I was not. Regardless, you’re more than likely to find me bouncing out of bed ready to LEARN IMPORTANT STUFF rather than clutching at my pillow, praying for JUST 5 MORE MINUTES PLZ. I love learning, and I’m so happy to be back at uni. It’s the ultimate indulgence to feed my mind, to bounce ideas off of other inspiring, positive and creative people.

Things might be a little more quiet now that I’m back at big school and writing essays and trying to remember how to use the APA referencing system (which I totally don’t remember existed, by the way). I wish I had more time to jump up and down on my computer keyboard excitedly and churn out more posts like the eager Gen Y smarty-pants I am, but my course requires a lot of attention and little time for…well, life. Having said that,I’m really determined to make time for the projects that matter to me these days. More writing! More photography! More reading! Like a grocery list chock block of awesome food for the soul! Time is trickier than Where’s Wally. You can’t find it, you have to make it, and you’re never too busy for the things you love. Never.


This week I definitely noticed a trend in articles on self-loathing and self-loving in the physical sense. Because Girls Are Made From Pepsi is all about lady love, coming to terms with and accepting our diverse physicality is a large part of appreciating and celebrating your foxy self. Females of all ages – whether young girls or middle aged women – have all gone through some sort of body image crisis. Some deal with their inner critics more effectively than others, whilst some of still unconsciously grab at imaginary love-handles when trying on new jeans. I personally don’t feel ready to write a body image post of my own, so below are some of the best I’ve read this week (or ever!).

How gay-friendly is Facebook? With the Google+ machine ploughing through the digital stratosphere aiming to catch as many band-wagon enthusiasts as possible (oh yeah, I saw it riding past and climbed on!), Lesbilicious takes a look at how the world’s most popular (and infamous!) social networking site helped (or hindered) queer visability. Can we expect the same from Google+? Do social networks force people out of the closet when they ask you disclose information? Or is it still possible to keep some of our life private? It did not escape me that Google+ does not ask for your sexual orientation…

By the way – it’s awfully lonely on Google+! If anyone wants an invite, holla at me! I’m willing to spread the love around!

Liz at Autostraddle does a fashioncap of the latest Pretty Little Liars, turns the majority of the cast/extras into homos, and consequently makes my week whilst doing so.

THIS IS NEW INFORMATION. Not all women like pink. If you are one of those women, I’m sorry for my blog’s colour scheme and it’s affect on your retinas. Not really, because I love pink! But don’t worry, I still like you. This study, published in the Harvard Business Review (and handily dissected for the sake of my poor attention span by Gawker), suggests that women don’t like pink because it reminds them of other women.

Despite the fact that a full 100% of lesbians are women, it appears that women do not actually love themselves? Because it’s not the color of pink that women hate, according to the study, so much as the fact that pink is “a gender cue” that triggers a “defensive response” among women. This sort of self-loathing behavior is really sad to see among a gender that has produced lots of really quality gymnasts.

The study was conducted in relation to breast cancer donations. Although it seems fairly obvious that sometimes, you know, women prefer blue, some parts of the study actually sounded like they might not be completed baseless.

We put breast cancer banner ads on a website we showed the subjects but never mentioned them. When the site was geared to women [with the colour pink], 33% of women recalled the ads. When it was gender-neutral, 65% remembered. It’s been three years, and we have duplicated the same basic finding 10 times. It keeps happening.

Check out this video for Vanessa Bruno’s SS 12 collection. It features a Lou Doillon and Jessica Joffe as beautifully dressed forest sprites of some sort. (I am still recovering from Stevie Dance’s departure. I feel the need to talk about this. Anyone?)

140 characters can say a lot about your gender. According to a sociolinguistic study, women use a lot more emoticons and exclamation points ( !! =] ). I think I may have been an unwitting subject for this study…

Girl With a Satchel (Erica Bartle, or GWAS as she is known) is talking about body image. It’s a regular topic on GWAS, but I always love her posts on body image because they’re not just empty, superficial rhetoric about how important it is for us to love ourselves. Erica’s past experiences inform her views on body image and the media, so it’s not like she comes across all gung-ho about fighting the evil advertising standards which allow women to look like pore-less faces of sparkling beauty. She just recognises that it really, really sucks to open up a magazine and not feel like you resemble the yummy young things that dominate the pages.

What can be done by publishers in light of the fact that the Voluntary Code of Conduct has not been widely accepted? Go easy on the Photoshop, embrace what’s real, and complement fashion and beauty with a greater proportion of content that gives credit to women and girls’ other attributes. Devote sections to cultivating their minds, creativity, social conscience, resilience and knowledge of the world, as well as playing on their capacity to empathise, laugh, have fun and contribute something positive.

Source: weheartit.com

Rachel Hills shares her personal experience of BDD (body dysmorphic disorder).

When you’re actually living through something, it feels like some dark, impossible shame you could never speak openly to anyone about. Then there’s the stage of recovery where the whole event seems far enough in the past that the stigma begins to evaporate and you can speak about it freely. And eventually, you get to the point where it seems so long ago that it no longer feels relevant, almost as if it happened to another person.

I think I feel a bit like Rachel in a way when she says she finds it hard to open up, and not because she’s ashamed or doesn’t want to relive past events she’d rather keep locked up in her 16-year-old diary, but because it’s had to relate to who we were in the past. How do you speak for someone who exists outside of your here and now? Just as it’s difficult to comprehend and interpret another person’s state of mind, so too is it problematic to try and justify the actions of your former self. I, like many other girls, feel so far removed from who we once were, and that’s why many things are left unsaid.

Conversely, Anna Sussman writes of the eating disorder cliche – ‘Me Too’ Syndrome. I would really love to hear everyone’s thoughts on this one! Do you think there’s an E.D cliche? Or are you more partial to an open book policy? Over sharing? Or over people not caring?

Your vagina is a beautiful flower and anyone who gets your naked as hit the jackpot. Nay to vulva antagonism!

gucci gucci louis louis fendi fendi prada

Look familiar?

Apple, Pear, or Eggplant? I never understood why people compare their bodies with the shapes of fruit. I get the need to associate the female form with a deliciously sweet snack, but I’ve never felt these so called guides to female body shapes ever achieve anything.

Not satisfied? You might have more luck with something like Trinny & Susannah’s body shape guide, which has 12 possible forms—but, if you’re like me, you’ll still be left untyped. This isn’t because of your crazy, freakish body type that is unfit to be clothed. It’s because your body is probably a combination of run-of-the-mill (I mean that with love!) without a particular feature that calls for attention, and certain features that you may want to highlight or conceal but that don’t land you in one of the classic types.

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For your reading pleasure!

Autostraddle dishes out some sage wisdom for shy young lesbians. The key to a girl’s heart may or may not be with donuts, but sitting like a hot toaster waiting to pop does not a hustler make.

If you don’t feel your heart beating in your fingertips, if your voice isn’t shaking, if you’re able to have coherent thoughts, then you don’t understand the importance of what you’re doing. This is a big deal. When you approach someone as more than friends, you’re making yourself defenseless in a way that, quite frankly, isn’t fair. Whenever you ask someone out, you’re knowingly giving them the chance to stomp on your heart on the off chance that they want to make out with your face as much as you want to make out with theirs.

Jump on in love-lorn battalions!! The water’s fine!

Photo via weheartit.com

Fancy some heavier reading? Here’s some food for thought from Oxford University Press. Author Christopher Reed is promoting his new book Homosexuality in Art: A History of Ideas. He talks about why homosexuality is more accepted in mainstream cinema and literature and not in the visual arts, and also how sexuality really isn’t all that personal when it’s such a large part of our culture. (OUP Blog)

My new favourite website Autostraddle (how did this fly under my radar for so long?!) is also talking about homosexuality and art. This article’s in relation to activism, and not just the gung-ho rah-rah kind of political demonstration. (Autostraddle)

Studies have shown that “knowing” gay fictional characters is similar to knowing a gay person when it comes to affecting attitudes toward LGBT people and issues. Artists with a wide audience, such as the people behind popular TV shows, movies and books, have a unique opportunity to reach people who would not otherwise seek out LGBT media and perspectives. A lot of these people would never watch explicitly-gay shows like Queer As Folk or The L Word — but as we make more and more inroads to otherwise-straight shows, like Pretty Little Liars or Glee, it becomes harder and harder for homophobes to avoid queer people on TV. And harder and harder for them to avoid empathizing with us.

via Tumblr

The Hairpin features an article on Canada’s long-termlove affair with our patron saint of bad-ass Alanis Morisette.  IT’S LIKE RAAAAAIIIIIIN ON YOUR WEDDING DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYY….. (The Hairpin)

Photo via theexpressionist.com

Don’t feel like reading the whole of American Cosmo? Lilith and Jezebel over at Evil Slutopia have summarised it for your convenience! (Evil Slutopia)

Rachel Rabbit White discusses the fashion question for feminists and queers. Do you ever wonder who you’re dressing for? Maybe for other girls in order to be accepted? Or maybe to attract male attention? Perhaps you feel the pangs of feminist guilt (thank YOU, Naomi Wolf!) when you do dress up? Or maybe you feel conflicted about what to wear when you’re attracting the same sex? We’ve all been there – whether you’re a feminist or a queer. Girl culture demands that we be our best selves physically, but like, not TOO pretty, because that’s just threatening. Feminism and queer culture asks that we subvert traditional gender stereotypes. Is your head exploding yet? How does one attain this level of unthreatening sexiness? And how does one look like they like girls, but not too much like a boy because obviously that’s counterproductive? Wear heels and you might encounter a ‘more feminist than thou’ attitude, or wear heels and people will assume you’re straight. Is their freedom in choosing what you want to wear? (Rabbit Write)

Time for sweet androgyny!

Maranda Elizabeth on the unclear boundaries of consent. Because, sometimes no means no, and sometimes, yes means no also. Confusing? Communication is so much more than affirmative answers. What about body language? Tone of voice? (Maranda Elizabeth)

In the workshop I wrote about in my last entry, when we broke into smaller groups and discussed our wants and needs, practicing how to ask for them, and how to say/accept no as an answer, one of the folks in our group said that they needed clear and direct communication, and for folks they’re involved with to make their boundaries known. It sounds simple, right? But myself and another person in the group both admitted that we have difficulty clarifying our boundaries for others, and that we were both dealing with our own issues surrounding assertiveness and communication, so we couldn’t promise that we could always be clear and direct.

The NY Times has a really great article on the problematic ‘strong female lead’. Whilst the title wreaks of anti-feminist sentiments (women cannot handle their own awesomeness! Shall we sew instead?) the article is definitely worth your Sunday reading. Just to clarify, in this context ‘strong female lead’ does not mean a well written and developed character. Thank you NY Times for this handy definition: “alpha professionals whose laserlike focus on career advancement has turned them into grim, celibate automatons; robotic, lone-wolf, ascetic action heroines whose monomaniacal devotion to their crime-fighting makes them lean and cranky and very impatient; murderous 20-something comic-book salesgirls who dream of one day sidekicking for a superhero; avenging brides; poker-faced assassins; and gloomy ninjas with commitment issues.” This kind of woman, the NY Times argues, develops an inferiority complex.

Of course, I get the point of characters like these. They do serve as a kind of gateway drug to slightly more realistic — or at least representational — representations of women. On the other hand, they also reinforce the unspoken idea that in order for a female character to be worth identifying with, she should really try to rein in the gross girly stuff. This implies that unless a female character is “strong,” she is not interesting or worth identifying with.

This reminds me of a conversation I had with Mia Freedman once (I HAVE ALWAYS WANTED TO SAY THAT) where she mentioned how important it was for women to share their bad lists. To be declare their strengths certainly, but also to own up to their weaknesses as a form of empowerment. Is strength always a virtue? (NY Times)

On a similar note, I am finally off to go see Harry Potter – finally! Team Hermione!

Happy Sunday!

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Who remembers friendship bracelets? I was the friendship bracelet queen back in primary school, frequently plaiting away at multi-coloured yarns and lovingly securing them around the wrists of my girlfriends. We were ‘blood sisters’, child warrior body guards against armies of scary boys, and even formed our own juvenile version of a secret society. We marked each other’s bodies in a way that would probably worry most parents, and shared everything.  A good gal pal will take the edge off a rough day, whinge with you about your boss, help sabotage mortal enemies and doesn’t care what you look like when you wake up.  The relationships between girls is something of an enigma; we have an unmistakeably special bond that we search for in potential partners, yet we don’t label our friendships as a form of romantic love.

Building and maintaining supportive relationships is something that’s hardwired into the female brain. Studies show that women thrive emotionally and physically from these relationships. They help release stress, provide a shoulder to cry on, and provide inspiration for multi-million dollar franchises.

A few weeks ago, Rachel Rabbit White made a post about the BFF. She even used one of my little anecdotes about my relationship with a certain BFF who shall forever remain unnamed. Can you guess which one is my story?

The basic gist of the post is that everyone’s a little bi – whether it’s a phase you go through, a transitional period or stepping stone to full-blown lesbian, or the start of a sexually fluid identity. Or perhaps you choose to not abide by any label, seeing your attractions as far more personal as opposed to deeply sexual.

Frankie likes people.

This is hardly a new concept. Freud called it ‘polymorphous perversity’. Poly what now? To illustrate this point, University College, London did a study on the brain activities of various hetero and homosexual couples. Participants were shown images of their significant others, and photos of their same sex friends. When looking at the fMRI scans, guess what they found? That’s right – same neurological responses. Which means, romantic love, regardless of a person’s sex, and friendship love have very similar chemical reactions in the brain.

However, it appears that women displayed more of this brain activity than men. So is female sexuality much more fluid than mens’? You can bet your rainbow party pants it is, according to a study by Lisa Diamond. In her book Sexual Fluidity: Understanding Women’s Love and Desire, Diamond studied 100 women over a decade and found a trend amongst females to have a far more sexually diverse orientation.

Whether sexual or not, sometimes close female bonding is treated sexually. Sometimes it’s implicit, sometimes it almost smacks you in the face with a strap-on. Here are some subtle and not so subtle examples of the complex BFF relationship.

Emily and Spencer from Pretty Little Liars

Emily tries to seduce Spencer with her Cher impersonation.

The BFF relationship is central to the plot of Pretty Little Liars. One of the main characters, Emily, has a hidden infatuation for Alison (who is murdered in the first episode. The whole show revolves around her untimely death). In flash-backs we see Alison tease Emily with her coquettish double entendres, secretly making out with her, pushing her away and pulling her back in with teenage nonchalance, buying her gifts, basically playing favourites with extra tongue involved. Whilst I think Alison just knew she was smokin’ hot jail-bait and was probably just using Emily as an experiment, I get major vibes from Spencer. And the girls where PURPLE friendship bracelets. Need I say more?

Tracy and Evie from Thirteen

This early 2000s independent drama chronicled the kind of relationship many young teenage girls have – the friend who is a bad influence. Evie one of those enigmatic girls you meet who possess some sort of hypnotic power over all she comes into contact with. But Evie is bbbbad to the bone, introducing the faunish Tracy to the hard and fast world of juvenile deilinquincy. Think acid trips, older boys, shop lifting and bullying. Evie is in fact so bewitching, the completely moon-struck Tracy ends up locking lips with her and almost having a jail-bait three-way tryst with her neighbour. The thing is, Tracy doesn’t really care about the money she steals, the boys she kisses or the clothes she wears. She’s eagerly searches for signs of approval whilst mirroring Evie. Although the girls are only thirteen and I don’t want to be responsible for objectifying minors, there’s some fairly subtle and not so subtle sexual undertones that underscore their relationship, blurring the line between friendship love and romantic love. Not so black and white anymore, is it?

Regina George and the Plastics

Photo via Starpulse.com

Queen Bee Regina’s character is in the same vein as Evie from Thirteen. With enough charisma to charm the panties off any girl who so merely as breathes the same oxygen as her, Regina has an undeniable influence over all of her peers. Even Cady confesses that although she secretly loathes Regina, she still yearns for her acceptance. There’s something about this blonde paragon that causes the world to fawn at her feet.  She even manages to get her obedient cohorts to dress up as elves and perform a sassy Christmas repertoire. I mean, hello? Is this not sexual finesse? Regina can get a girl (and a boy) to do anything.

Brittany and Santana from Glee

Fan girls all over the Glee-verse spammed the shit out of Tumblr when their OTP Brittana became a canon pairing.  From back-up dancers, to pom-pom wielding besties, to cuddle buddies, and now to scissor sisters, they illustrate perfectly the BFF paradigm, wherein friendship love and romantic love intertwine. Brittany and Santana definitely built up one giant gay crescendo with their pink-linking performances. It’s obvious that the girls love each other despite their respective snarkyness and endless blonde moments, but they’re hesitant to put a label on their relationship. They see other boys, they sleep with other boys, but as sure as these teens will break out into a randomly choreographed song and dance routine about homework, so too do Brittana ultimately end up together.

So, what do you think? Does the media sexualise the BFF relationship, or just merely mirror back these already existing undertones? Is it a case of the chicken or the egg?
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Elsewhere in the blogosphere…

I love a good visualised pun! Photo via AllTop

Purple Power delivers an almighty blow to inequality as NY State legalises gay marriage!  Yesterday was a day to mark history (and herstory!). However, the state law is buried under a messy heap of federal legislation, which might mean that all the young and hot things in love out there might not be getting a break on their taxes.

I Am Not My Uterus – This is the blog post that had the Twitter kids slinging mud pies at each other all week. Clem Bastow’s article in defense of deliberately barren women polarised the blogosphere into two groups – those already on a vitally important errand to Babyco, and those who’d rather toss the baby out with the bath water (kidding! Kind of). Women who’ve remained childless rallied in defense of Clem (myself included), whilst mothers and fathers alike saw it as an attack on their choices, an immoral decision, or clearly in breach of what mother nature intended.

Miss Bastow, you would be best to simply stay silent rather than use your words to spread your own negativity, weirdness and confusion. Too many young women (and men) have been encouraged to supress their natural inclinations by the likes of you to their regret latter.

The reality of nature can not be altered by newspapers articles: reliable female fertillity is only between the ages of about 18-35 and once the opportunity is gone, it is gone forever. Young men and women waste enough time building a carear without you demoralising them.

Coming from a family of women who have all decided to marry and have children late (or sometimes, not at all), any plans for me personally getting up the duff are yet to be conceived. However, but the government focuses on working families, and even Barbie gets pregnant, I can’t help but feel that it’s expected of me. However, doesn’t everyone feel as though something is expected of them? Women with children feel pressured to raise perfect children and somehow climb the corporate ladder simultaneously, whilst women without children feel like they’re being vilified for putting themselves first. Whether you’re a mother or not, women are defined by their (lack of) children.
Unravelling Blake Lively – Is it a bubbly facade? What is this amazonian beauty like when the camera isn’t rolling? Just who is this blonde icon with enough charm to get the Queen of England naked? Can she stand on her own two feet or does she need to lean on the likes of Leo and teeter on her Loubotins to get ahead? Blake Lively represents a sort of obsession with celebrity. She’s seemingly perfect – a bangin’ body fit for a swimsuit campaign, she’s tight with the emperor and empress of fashion themselves, Karl Lagerfield and Anna Wintour, and also has claim to the lead role in the hottest teen drama since we were welcomed to the OC, bitch. And she has really, really pretty hair. But is she as credible as she seems? Can she act? Can she do the splits? How much wood would a Blake Lively chuck if a Blake lively could chuck wood?

Blake has effectively created a brand for herself. She’s a hustler, climbing up that A-List ladder towards shooting-stardom. She’s working it because she realises that it’s a long way to the top if you want to rock and roll, and you can’t get by without a little help from your Hollywood friends. And if her tabloid covers are anything to go by, it appears to be working. You know you love her.

Ms. Magazine interviews everyone’s favourite huggable green gargantuan, Feminist Hulk. Hulk talks about endless waves of loving smash, his effective abuse of the caps-lock, and the never ending fight to destroy bull-shit.
The sexually abusive tradie as a stereotype – Bitch magazine discusses the prescriptive stereotype of the objectifying construction worker. Is it a self-fulfilling prophecy? Is it a case of having the name so adopting the game?

It’s probably for this reason that working class men are complained about so frequently at talks on street harassment, depicted alongside news articles and blog posts about the issue, and featured in anti-street harassment videos – all of which reify the idea that working class men are harassers. This classist framework really bothers me. Maybe it’s because I grew up working class and my step-father is a truck driver — a profession that’s often perceived as being full of men who demonstrate lewd behavior (a stereotype that contributes to the erasure of the growing number (5%) of women in the industry, but I digress) — that I am resistant to such overarching characterizations. My familiarity with men in these fields makes me sympathetic to arguments of perception vs. intention. Social behaviors differ across class identification, and what may be deemed “crass” or “trashy” or “inappropriate” according to middle or upper class values might be entirely acceptable in my family’s neck of the woods. So, whose standards should get top billing?

Photo: AP/Tina Fineberg via Bitch Media

Another Bridesmaids review. I couldn’t not mention Kristin’s Wigg’s debut film. Most reviews are so quick to confirm that Bridesmaids is so cool! Because it’s like the Hangover! But for chicks! It has fart jokes AND Rose Bryne! Winning! This one’s for those who aren’t stuck in the body of a teenage boy and are a little apprehensive about seeing the female cinematic incarnation of a Judd Appatow film.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nrRd2QSsGc4]

Style Bloggers and the Form/Function debate (and no, I’m not being ironic) – Are they more than just a pretty face? Are style blogs narcissistic mediums for cashed up clothes horses? Are bloggers lives a precious commodity? Could they die in a freak gasoline accident?  Fashion blogs are another form of fashion escapism, except much more affordable, accessible and personable. They blur the line between consumer culture and personal gratification with their diary-like form. We want to know the chick in the knitted jumper (isn’t even Russh employing this personability into their magazine shoots now?), but we also love honest fashion advice. We imagine that the blogger is just like us, although it might not always be the case (many already have profiles within the fashion industry or connections of the monetary or human variety). “Fashion bloggers,” argues author Lauren Burvill, “are undeniably successful. But at what price to the industry?” I don’t think they’re costing the industry – they’re just a new guarde of stylists.

Photo: Gary Pepper Vintage

BFFs are like a good wine – they get better with age.

“Humans are hard-wired to attach in a non-romantic way. There are evolutionary advantages for women to bond: to take care of each other, to provide a community and share responsibilities that increase the likelihood of survival,” Saltz says. “But friendships also fend off loneliness and depression.” – Gail Saltz, clinical associate professor of psychiatry at New York-Presbyterian Hospital/Weill Cornell Medical Center.

S.E Smith from This ‘Aint Livin’ talks about sexism and the female journalist. It’s a must read for any investigative lass.

For women in journalism, the undercurrent of sexism is always there and they’re often told to ignore it. Just focus on the story. Or manipulate it to your advantage (because women, you know, they are always about the feminine wiles and exploiting situations whenever possible). Definitely don’t complain, because if you do, you might get taken off the story and reassigned to the gardening desk. If you’re bothered that stories about women end up in the ‘life and style’ section you would do well to keep it to yourself, because no one wants to hear about it. The sexism is just an occupational hazard, you see, it is part of the job.

Katie Holmes uses her almighty Kegel muscles to squeeze the scoop out of her interviewees in Thank You For Smoking.

Nubby Twiglet has compiled a list of the best eye candy of the glossy variety. LOOK AT THE PURRDDYY.

Girl With a Satchel gives Cleo a high five for 10-page happiness special, but brandishes her digital wooden spoon for contradicting their soft-feminism with cover girl Beyonce’s bandaged body suit.

My new favourite website Autostraddle does the most hilariously accurate recap of the latest gay-centric episode of Pretty Little Liars. PLL is cat-nip for sapphic sisters – this show is FUCKING LADEN with lesbian undertones.

Spencer, you're looking very Shane today.

And to finish off your week with a ball-bashing to wet weather blues, here’s some wise words from all time bodacious babe Marilyn Monroe over at Yes and Yes.

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